Subj: The Tony and Larry Show, Part 3
Date: 6/5/2001

The Tony and Larry Show, Part 3

Tuesday March 6:
LG: We wake up early in hopes of seeing a golden sunrise but it is mostly cloudy, so now what do we do. Do we go back to bed or make an early start? We opt for the early start, wash the car and stop at a Mailboxes, Etc. to mail gifts and unnecessary items home. One of the items mailed back was my Valentine 1. During the previous days' we conducted a trial of Valentine 1 vs. Escort 8500 which yielded mixed results. Each one would warn us of radar that the other one didn't detect. In general the Valentine 1 warned us of radar without noticing police activity more than the Escort. Although the Escort had similar episodes. With a lighter cleaner car we proceeded to the Saguaro National Park.

TD: We arrived at the desert and Larry suggested that I follow his footsteps as we ventured into the desert and walked between the cacti. As we walked he spoke of lessons learned from previous walks through the desert. He was very concerned that I not get hurt in the desert as he walked fearlessly by each cactus. (LG: Cactus aren't the only thing out here with sharp pointy things attached to them) We came to a spot near a bushy looking cactus which Larry felt would be a dramatic photo opportunity. Oops!!, was he wrong! That cute bushy cactus decided to attack Larry without provocation. (It's an aggressive variety of cacti called chollas). I heard a scream from Larry (at which time managed to get a dramatic photograph of his pain before coming to assist him), and found a chunk of cholla dangling from his arm, and one on each foot that looked like pompoms. A video camera would have been more appropriate as he was shaking his arm and feet (thought he was doing a rain dance) in an effort to dislodge the cacti. Unfortunately for Larry, his movements only caused more quills to lodge deeper into his skin and poke through his shoes. (And he claims I whimper too much, you should have heard him!)

LG: I tried my best to pull the man eating plant off my arm, but the quills seemed to lodge further into my skin. After getting to the car I tried using my multitool to pull the quills out of my arm, but they only broke off inside.

Quick recap: I've only driven in bad weather, have a blistering sunburn on my head and quills stuck in my arms and toes; are we having fun yet?

Tony suggested that we go to the desert museum to see if they knew how to dislodge the quills from my anatomy. When I told him it was expensive to get in, he felt sure I could tough it out so we proceeded to the Pima Air Museum in Tucson. (you know you're getting old when most of the aircraft you are qualified in are retired here). Next I wanted to show Tony Davis Monthan, which is the military's aircraft graveyard. We drove around the perimeter until we came to a guard house. I told security what we wanted to do, but due to prior security threats they no longer let people continue without a security pass. I kept wearing him down saying, "How about we just drive to the end of the island here, then turn back". He finally agreed and as we made the loop around the island, he flagged us down and said we could go all the way to the other guard shack, but said we were on our own and disavowed any knowledge of us. From there we headed for Roswell, NM via the White Sands missile range. (TD: Larry loves all those military toys)

TD: We had been listening to Larry's CD's up to this point, so I decided we needed a drastic change in music. I popped in one of my CD cassettes filled with rare classics such as the three volume set of the Best of Dr. Demento. Larry made a face upon hearing the first Dr. Demento CD. To my surprise, Larry started singing to the second and third demented CD's, to songs such as Don't Eat the Yellow Snow, Dead Puppies are No Fun and other classics by great performers like Cheech and Chong, Weird Al and Frank Zappa. This kid has good tastes in music! But I could have been spared the sing-a-long by Larry. (Ahhhhh!!! Larry is singing Don't Eat the Yellow Snow while I am typing this)
My drive time soon ended and I filled with 16.71 gallons yielding 26.55 mpg. (LG: Throttle Jockey :-)

LG: As the road wove through San Agustin Pass I told Tony to get his camera ready because it was going to be a breathtaking view as we crested the top where you can see 40 miles of pancake flat terrain. We arrive at White Sands National Monument almost at closing time. The road to the park is closed off for inbound traffic, so we hiked a mile on foot trying not to get caught by park rangers, and performed an illegal act (get your mind out of the gutter!) that a park sign warned us not to do. After performing said act, we hurried out before being discovered by hiding behind scrub brush as cars passed. About a quarter mile from the gate, walking on the road, a park ranger complained that we were taking too long to get out. My first thought was to ask him to give us a ride to the gate, but I thought the ranger might ask about the bulge in Tony's pants, thus discovering what we had been up to in the desert night. (TD: Honest folks, it's not what your sick minds are thinking, its just Larry's warped way of saying things - Let's just say that my pockets were filled, with illegal mementos, beyond the design specifications of my pant pockets) Sprinting to the gate to make the rangers deadline, he still complained as we were parked in between gates that were to be locked. Seeing is that it was night time I decide we should stop at the semisecret military base, known as Holloman AFB, home to F-117 Stealth fighters.

Tony had been treating us to all the low rent motels on the way back, so I wanted to treat him to lodging military-style. Due to my high status in the military, I procured a VIP suite for I wanted at least one night in luxury. The room had individual bedrooms with TV's in each, living/dining room and a kitchen. After checking in, we went to eat in Alamogordo. While driving looking for a restaurant that would suit our tastes, a Mitsubishi 3000 GT, pulls up beside us and wants to drag down the strip (25 MPH speed limit). Tony is unsure what my actions will be. I decide to give him the, "Get out of here you insignificant gobfly" look, and feeling rejected, he turns off to another road. We ate, then returned to our room. I depart in the morning feeling well rested; I can't say the same for Tony. He had been up most of the night talking with his girlfriend. They communicated almost every night and day at most "odd" times. (TD: As a student working towards a Ph.D., she lives the typical student life which has no defined sleep patterns) (TD: Let's not forget that Larry's military VIP suite only cost him $22, at least half of all other economy places we stayed at, which I remind you that only I am paying for!!!! He seems to keep forgetting that small fact) (LG: You did say all expenses paid and we have been splitting meal costs)

TD: Well, I'm talking to my girlfriend on the phone ... (LG: Remember, we are still talking about Tuesday stuff)

Wednesday March 7:
I think it's time to say good-bye and wish her more luck on her Ph.D. work and Larry is about to wake up and inform me that it's time to hit the road. Larry suggests that we visit White Sands in the daylight hours, without fear of getting caught doing anything illegal in the light of day. Driving through White Sands was an interesting experience. The roads were freshly plowed as if driving through snow. There were picnic areas with highly reflective metal shields over picnic tables. We parked and decided to explore the dunes on foot. Larry unsuccessfully tried to draw the letters NSX in the side of a dune (the steep incline of the dune defeated all Larry's attempts). At some points during our hike, all you could see in any direction was bright white sand. Perhaps similar to being on the ocean without being able to see land. An easy place to get lost in. As we left the park we seemed to drive in circles (LG: we weren't) before we saw a sign stating "This way out". Pictures taken here look as if we were in the middle of the Arctic wilderness.

LG: As we were getting ready to leave one of the parking areas, a young couple parks besides us and prepares to go on a hike. I noticed the woman had military attire, so I asked if she was in the service. She said 'Yes, I work in security at Holloman AFB', and started to walk off. After a few steps, her boyfriend said something to her, and she turned around and walked back to the car blushing. As she had forgotten to close the door on the passenger side. I looked at her and smiled saying "So much for security". After leaving the park proper we stopped at the gift shop for Tony to buy more trinkets. (TD: I bought postcards and a beautiful cactus garden, which Larry made me double box, tape and put in the trunk where it would not attack him.) I was flirting with the store clerk who was giving us instructions on the care and feeding of the cactus. I asked her if she would feed it for us and seal that sucker up before it made an unprovoked attack. We explained to her what had transpired in the desert and that we needed to keep the box small because we were transporting it in a sports car. She wanted to know what we had and even though we told her, she didn't know what one was, but wanted to see it. She got permission to leave her counter and I invited her to sit in our car (TD: It's *my* car Larry!!!) and Tony took a picture to send her after we arrived home. Being midday it's time to strike off for Roswell, NM home of Alien Air who claimed more than 54 years since their last work loss accident. :-) It's a quiet trip for Tony as he is sleeping, so I won't say anymore until we get to Roswell, as I don't want to wake him.

Another recap: Bad weather driving, a blistering sunburn on my head, quills stuck in my arms and toes, and now fine sand in my underwear. Fun has to be around the corner?

We're now in Roswell and I wake Tony up so we can visit the UFO Museum. The highlight for me was talking to some of the original players in the Roswell crash. I can't speak for others, but as for me "I believe".

TD: I found the museum very intriguing, as Larry stated he believes, I had already believed and the museum was just strong reinforcement. After leaving the museum and another souvenir shop, Larry mentions we can go to a Honda shop to perhaps find out the meaning of the error code displayed on my CD player. I asked where we would find a Honda shop and he just smiled and drove us directly to Roswell Honda. Only Larry would know where to find a Honda shop in the middle of nowhere. As we drove in to Roswell Honda, swarms of people (mostly Honda employees) came out to view the silver UFO that just landed in their parking lot. Several mentioned that this was the first NSX/UFO that they have seen in person, other than doctored up photos. Larry starts opening up the car compartments and letting people sit in it as if it's his car. I needed to continually remind him that it was my car and not our car or his car (as he 'til this day still dreams about). Oh yes, the Honda service people were able to call a nearby Acura dealer and confirm that the code displayed was due to excessive vibration (It figures it was while Larry was driving) (LG: I was trying to make time through the Indian Reservation)

LG: The service manager mentions they have a severe storm warning for the area and we should depart ASAP. I'm fearing that a break in the space-time continuum will suck us up into a different (but parallel) dimension so we beat feet for Oklahoma. Some of the bolts of lightning were coming close and seemed to startle Tony. It was distracting to go from dark to daylight bright caused by lightning strikes, but I knew his NSX could outrun the storm. My only fear was the crackling of electricity in the air would have the same effect on us as the DeLorean going 88 mph in Back to the Future.
We outran the storm and pulled into a gas station for fuel and food. We fill 16.24 gallons yielding 29.27 mpg. I am sure on my next time driving I will get over 500 miles on a tank.

TD: It's now almost 11 pm and I still feel up to driving into the night. We continue the drive through Oklahoma.

LG: After a few hours of driving, Tony started to be a little erratic in his control touch. When he would drift to one side or the other he would make a quick steering correction to get back to the center of the road. I looked at his eyes to see if he was sleeping but they appeared to be open. I asked, "Tony, you realize you're drifting from one side of the road to the other?", to which he replied, "I like using the whole road". OK, before when Tony was tired I offered to drive and he let me. This offer was refused quite bluntly. As we proceed through Oklahoma City Tony's speed is picking up (TD: it's a wide open road with no traffic at 2 am :-)), I find it inappropriate because other than being way over the speed limit, not familiar with the twisty roads through the city, and still making quick jerky corrections to stay in the middle of the road; HE IS MAKING ME VERY NERVOUS! I'm not sure how to handle this, I'm no longer feeling sleepy and I'm afraid of a confrontation if I try to tell him "pull over, I'm driving". I suggest we eat; he seems to be willing to pull off to find a place. We pull up to a Cracker Barrel restaurant and I instruct Tony to get out and see if they are open. While he is at the door I moved over to protect the entrance to the driver's side door and said, "Tony I think you're tired, it's time for me to drive", and to my surprise he put up no resistance. Getting back into the car we discussed his erratic driving to which he responded he had trouble seeing with his glasses at night time. (TD: I thought at the time it was a good excuse since I did have trouble reading signs, the lines on the road were clear but for some reason they kept moving away from my straight line :-)) (LG: I'll say he had trouble reading signs, he said he wanted to pull into a rest stop that he drove right by. I said, "Didn't you see that big blue sign that said rest stop?", he said "what sign?", I just rolled my eyes and shook my head) Not finding any restaurants open, I bought junk food at a gas station and we stopped at a Super 8 Motel for the night.

Stay tuned for Thursday and Friday...

Larry G. and Tony D.

Saguaro National Park
Saguaro National Park
Larry leads the way through desert
Cactus Attack!
Cactus stuck in Larry's arm - Ouch!
Pima Air Museum
Just another scenic picture
Sunset at White Sands
Tony's NSX with White Sands backdrop
Plowed roads
White Sands picnic area
Larry climbing dunes
Tony standing in sea of sand
This Way Out!
White Sands parking
cactus Garden
Store clerk in NSX
Road to Roswell
Roswell