Subj: Mission Impossible
Date: 6/13/00

The difficult I do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer; miracles by appointment only; Duty, Honor, Country!
So what does this have to do with anything? It has to do with; "the impossible takes a little longer." Peter's observation of club members goes like this. "Offer a free meal and a T-shirt and they will drive anywhere." It doesn't take that much incentive for me. Sunday, I asked myself this question. "What could I get for gas mileage, if I drove my NSX like I do my Accord." When I drive my Accord, I use the, "There are more than two positions to the pedals" (gas, clutch, and brake) (i.e., either full up or full down) This would mean: No jack rabbit starts; no dropping 2 or 3 gears to pass cars with a clear road ahead; taking turns at a speed that you do not feel the need to disable the TCS. In other words, resisting the temptation to play. Now you see where the impossible comes in, and if you're are not driving aggressively; it takes a little longer to get there.
When I told my son (Craig) of my plans to attempt this impossible feat, I got this snicker, a "ya, right", and "That plan will go down the tubes before you get three miles from home!" I'm sure many of you if asked, how many miles per gallon can you get with an NSX would respond, "Who gives a sh_t?" Well the glove has been thrown and I'm psyched for the challenge. Did I succeed, what MPG did I achieve, and a host of other answers to questions you never asked will follow. (Boy, this guy must love to hear himself talk)

The rules were simple: No coasting in neutral, no drafting behind trucks, no over inflation of tires, or other cheating methods. The route I chose included driving through towns, (slow speeds, traffic lights etc.) country roads, (posted at 45-55 MPH) some interstate, (posted 65 MPH) and it crossed several sections of the Allegheny Mountains. (Known as hills, for you people out West) Most open road cruising speeds averaged between 55-70 MPH.
I topped off the fuel tank at the local Exxon station, got the usual stares, bought a few beverages, and started on my quest. As many of you are aware, critters seem to have this uncontrollable desire to run/fly in front of me. It's like a moth to a flame. Today started worse than normal. 200 feet out of the parking lot, a gray squirrel observing my approach, started to low crawl across the road. He didn't run, he didn't hop, but kept his tail horizontal and slowly walked. OK, no evasive maneuver challenges here. Next was a flock of fledgling ducks. With a little hard braking, one went in front of the windshield; the other two just missed the engine bay glass. Part of FT. Indiantown Gap military reservation has the distinction (and misery) of having an endangered butterfly species. We are restricted from training in that area. My driving route takes me near this area. Not wanting my white NSX to look like some flower child's VW bus, plus to protect the species, I proceeded slowly through this area. Avoiding them takes a special skill, and quick reflexes as….you…have to make….quick left!…and Right!…turns to avoid these non-direct flying marvels. My maneuvering is a sight to behold, and has left my car and butterflies unscathed. Other obstacles in the road included; a cat, a large "damage your spoiler" snapping turtle, and several deer carcasses. All this is normal for my trips, but not in the first three miles! I had considered turning around and quitting while I was ahead, but the embarrassment I would face at home kept me moving forward.
With the critter intensity level lowering, the windows down, and my favorite tunes playing, I was getting that "Good to be alive" feeling. The scenery couldn't have been better. Many bushes/flowers were in full bloom, hawks sailed over my car (probably looking for road kill), the sky was blue, and the traffic was nil. With the windows down, natures smells filled the cockpit. Flowers, fresh cut hay, and…….dead skunks. This is the transition I was looking for to tell you about what happened to my son. First, a little background.

Craig has grown up as a quasi-military brat. At the age of two, he was hanging out at the flight facility, learning helicopter part nomenclature. His "Jungle gyms" were tanks and APCs (Armored Personnel Carriers). For video games, he used the Cobra (helicopter) FWS (Flight Weapons Simulator) where he became quite proficient firing chain guns, rockets, and TOW (Tube launched, Optically tracked, Wire guided) missiles. All normal for a military kid. Drawing weapon systems in school prompted his civilian teachers to put him on the "keep an eye on this wacko" troubled teen list. He lives and breathes the military. Being a member of CAP (Civil Air Patrol), he is heavily involved with SAR (Search And Rescue) exercises and conducts his own FTXs (Field Training eXercises) for other members.

[NOTE: The military has acronyms for everything and military personnel converse using acronyms. We don't purposely use them to confuse you, Honest]

I must admit, Craig overdoes things. When others take a knife; Craig takes a "Crocodile Dundee" knife. He will also wear camouflage paint. A couple of nights ago, Craig and two other CAP cadets, headed out at night to practice a night navigation exercise and bivouac on the mountain. At 0200 in the morning, I received a phone call from Craig wanting me to unlock the door that comes into the house. Seems while they were making their way through tall grass, they scared a skunk that sprayed Craig and the others. Craig, being up front, got the worst of it. Luckily, he turned his head so the spray didn't go into his eyes. But there in the entryway, were three bodies standing in their underwear, stinking to high heaven. (Below is the mixture that poison control offered to kill the smell.) Therefore, the three "mighty men" were unable to accomplish their mission due to a little black and white furry creature. (What is our future military force coming to)
The drive is progressing nicely. So far, with reluctance, I have kept my "play urges" under control even though I have been tormented by Mustangs, cars with automotive product stickers, and the kind that are all bark and no bite. I am nearing the furthest point of my route where I plan to take break, eat a snack, and take some pictures of my car. Approximately 5 miles out, a dark storm cloud is lurking. It too, like everything else, has this uncontrollable urge to get in front of me. For two minutes, there is a torrential downpour. When I arrive at the rest stop, the car is covered with grime. I back away from the car hoping that the grime will not show in the camera at a distance, but it does. Borrowing a bucket filled with water from the park ranger, I rinse off the side of the car that will be in the picture. After a few pictures, I proceed with the journey. Aside from a couple of acceleration excursions to pass a slow line of cars in a limited area passing area, I am maintaining my Accord style of driving. The rest of the trip is uneventful. The only unpleasantries encountered were 1) People throwing cigarette butts out of their cars that bounce into my intake. 2) A woman (in front of me) dumped a bucket of ice cubes (while we were driving 55MPH) that bounced like rocks.
I am now nearing the end of my trip. The low fuel light starts to illuminate with the needle of the gas gauge located just below empty. I refuel at the same pump and put in 15.85 gallons on a 559 mile trip which equals 35.2 MPG.
Not to shabby, huh.
Larry G.

Skunk smell eliminator
a) 1 quart Hydrogen Peroxide (3%)
b) ¼ cup Baking Soda
c) 1 Teaspoon liquid soap