Subj: Stepping up to the plate
Date: 9/16/01

Hi all: (Note: some names in the story have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty)

Some have been wondering what has happened to me as there have been no more stories. Same as it was last time, too many other things going on in my life. Those of you who know how fast I type know that even this short story (if it qualifies as one) took a chunk of time to type.

The topic of this story is stepping up to the plate. What I'm referring to, is people willing to do what others will not. The position I hold now has changed my responsibilities. I still deal with the same issues that single parents have to resolve day in and out. Except sometimes traveling as much as the job requires, sets up a situation that my boss likes to relate as, "Larry, here is a chance to excel!" Meaning it will help me grow and become a well rounded leader and these new experiences....yada, yada, yada. "OK, OK, I know, great!.. AFOG!" ........(which means: Another F-cking Opportunity for Growth).

I still have the duties of being quality control for the Eastern Army National Guard Aviation Training Site (EAATS) UH-60 (Black Hawk helicopter) program, along with standardization of Army aviation throughout the world. Because I have out lived most that are still active in aviation, I guess they (military headquarters) feel that I have a lot of historical knowledge and want to tap it. Pete will tell you the real reason is that I can't keep my mouth shut, barged into the situation without being asked, and they stepped back and said let Larry do it. In reality, it is a little of both.

I find writing regulations for the Army aviation community challenging and rewarding. (but again, remember how fast I type. You're not getting a good bang for your tax buck here, and my position does not come with a secretary. AFOG) After I rework a particular paragraph, I challenge my decision with many realistic situations to see if it is a viable one. Remember, it will effect Active, National Guard, and Army reserve units. To sweeten up the pot, it has to work in war, peace keeping, peace time, and national disaster scenarios. Now here is the real kicker. It has to be written in such a way that everyone will get the "SAME" interpretation, thus understanding my intent, when they read it. :-)) (Because we come from different backgrounds, our experiences tend to flavor the interpretation of a written passage.)

Well, as usual, I got off on another tangent. Oh ya, stepping up to the plate. I just get back from my Mississippi trip, when I find a car (that doesn't belong to me) behind the house, and listen to a message from my son (on the answering machine) that goes like, "Dad, John (his friend, 17 years old) has run away from home and needs a place to stay or else he will have to go to Schaffner!" (Yes, it is always a new situation every time I come home from a trip.) Craig calls later to tell me that John is staying at another friends house for the night, but cannot stay there after that, and wants to know if he can stay with us. I tell Craig, "OK, but he can't stay here long because I have to go to the National Guard Standardization Conference in Little Rock, Arkansas next week." "OK, thanks Dad!"

Later that evening, there is a knock on the door. A State Trooper Smith asks, "Do you know John?" "Yes," I reply. "Do you have a son named Craig?" Again I reply yes. "Well, the story that John's mother tells is that your son is a gun wielding druggie that roams the streets at night." I explain to the officer that I am in the military and that Craig grew up in a life of using tanks for Jungle Gyms, and as such, he does have a fascination with weapons. I state he does have a lot of weapon replicas, but there aren't any real guns lying all over the house as he tried to relate. I asked if he knew Trooper Doe? He said yes. I said, "He is in the CAP with Craig, and he could vouch for him." The trooper is starting to relax as I tell him where John is staying for the night. After the trooper explains the situation, I go inside and wait for Craig to come home. Craig and I talk a little then head for bed.

The next morning I get Craig off to school, then go back to bed to catch a few Zzz's before going into work. As I watch TV I see pictures of smoke coming from the World Trade Center. I think they are showing historical footage and then discover as I flip through the other channels, It is a "now" event. I watch as a second plane hits the other tower. I can't believe what I'm seeing, the carnage and senseless loss of life. I close my eyes and think, do I dare call work. I find that the fort is at THREATCON CHARLIE, and I need to go into work. (The rest of that tangent, is a place I will not go to in this story)

John and Craig show up from school together and I ask John if I could talk with him to get spooled up on his situation. John says sure, and then Craig says, "Ya, after John calls his probation officer." I sigh.......a new spin to the situation. (Do I have "kick me" on my back? How is it that I seem to get into these situations) With John's permission, I talk to the probation officer (PO). I find that the necessity for the PO was due to a stupid non-threatening mistake at school, but due to school regulations, he was required to intervene. OK, it wasn't that bad. It sounds like something Craig might have done. The PO is very thankful for letting John stay with us, as the only other place is Schaffner. "What's a Schaffner?", I ask. I find out that Schaffner is a detention/shelter place, depending on your situation.

John and I talk. With tears streaming out of his eyes, he tells of abuse from his adoptive parents and he can't put up with the situation any more. I learn that his biological parents were 16 year old druggies along with his father being an alcoholic. With stories of neglect and abuse from them, he and a younger brother were put up for adoption. John has been taking care of his brother until the time they were adopted. I also surmise that some anxiety comes from his parental role being usurped (probably unintentionally) by his adoptive parents. Any case, it is clear to see that John has endured more in his 17 years than most of us should have to in a lifetime. I tell John that I am going to go check out Rausch Creek and want to know if he wants to come. He says sure, he has heard about it. Craig says, " Ya, you'll get a chance to ride in Dad's car!" John looks puzzled, Craig just smiles (John is into cars). We go into the garage where John sees a bruised but still beautiful NSX. His face lights up immediately. "Hop in, let's go!" I said as Craig closes the garage door. Craig still has a smile on his face for he knows that John is getting a break from all his miseries. Of course, I play with the car enroute, but have to be careful because of increased State Troopers. After we return, we head to K-Mart to get John some clothes, as he only has what is on his back. We follow that with a quick trip to Pizza Hut for take outs, and return to the house.

The next morning, Craig and John head off to school. John says he had a good nights sleep. While at work, I get a call from Trooper Smith. He states that through coordination with the PO, they are trying to get papers signed to have John emancipated and wants to know if he can still stay at my house. I say yes, only temporarily, because of my traveling. The trooper is happy with my decision.

I return home from work to find a woman in a truck waiting in the yard. (Alas, a woman!!) She is John's mother (Drat!) and immediately starts going up one side of me and down the other about, "What gives you the right to interfere?, what do you think you are, some kind of super dad?, you'll regret the day you did this!!," and so forth. (And hello to you too :-))

I try to explain to her that I am just a neutral party looking out for John. I was requested to do so by his PO and a trooper, I just care about his safety, AND I am not handing him over until I get "official" authorization This cranks up a new blast upon me, but hey, I've been through a divorce, this is a piece of cake. I proceed to calm her down and listen to her side of the story. I expect the truth is somewhere in between her and John's story. I try calling Trooper Smith, but he is involved elsewhere. After a few repeated calls to State Police HQ, another trooper is dispatched to assist in this domestic dispute.

He arrives in full trooper "just the facts, Ma'am" demeanor. He talks with her for a bit, then I tell him the situation requested of me, and state I am just waiting for official guidance before I tell John's location. John's mother is adamant that he return home. She will not be responsible for him while living at my druggie house.......unless I will sign papers relieving her of her liability. (concerned mother about her son, huh?) It is decided that because it appears that no papers were signed, John would have to go back with his mother. I tell them where John is located, and then the three of us depart in separate vehicles, to John's location. Because we looked like a formidable task force, I tried to call Craig to make him aware that we were coming and to give John a heads up. I approach Craig and John first and explain that the trooper is here to tell John his options and not drag him off. John is using great restraint while this tense scenario comes to a head. The trooper states that he has to go back with his mother or else if he runs away, he will be taken to the Schaffner Detention Center. John says he can't go back with his parents even though it will only be two months before he will be 18 and then he can leave on his own. I can see the pressure John is facing, he is willing to do anything not to go back with them. John states that he would rather go to Schaffner than go with his mother. Unless he runs away or the PO directs the trooper to take him there, he cannot comply with John's request. I ask the trooper to talk with me privately and request that he stay until contact is made with the PO, for I do not want to escalate the situation. His mother is trying to entice John to return with her. John with great emotion in a tense but calm voice says he will not go back. The trooper is trying other means to contact the PO for permission to take him to Schaffner. I ask if anyone would like a soda. All refuse except for Craig. I get one for Craig and myself, and bring a water for John. "Here John, have a water, it's hot in the sun." John sits on the edge of the curbing occasionally sipping the water and sometimes putting his face in his hands. I can see the pressure and anxiety is making him restless and start to worry if he will try to make a break for it. I walk over to where he is, sit beside him, and say, "Tell me your thoughts?" I can tell by his response that he feels there is no good way out. He WILL NOT go back with his mother, and if he runs away, he fears he will have a record. I offer several options and advise the importance of working within the system. Even though every option sucks, I tell him I will keep working in his behalf; he will not be thrown in the system and forgotten. I make a request to his mother. "Let John stay at my house, I will not leave him unattended. If he goes with you, there is a good chance he will run away. Would it not be more comforting to know where he is?" She refuses the proposition, the only place he will be is with her, unless I want to sign a paper relieving her from responsibility. It appears that the PO or someone from that office has advised the trooper that he can take John to Schaffner. John with tears in his eyes thanks me for one night of refuge, says good-by to Craig, then gets into the troopers car.

After Craig and I return home, I investigate how to get to Schaffner while Craig gets ready for CAP. After arriving, I semi-sneak through locked access to get inside the building. I explain who I am, and that I wish to stay for moral support for John. The receptionist tells me to wait while she gets John's case worker (CW). The CW is trying to inform me the best he can without breaching their protocol. Because I am not a relative or guardian, I cannot see John unless the PO puts me on the visitation list. I gather what info I can, thank them very much for their time, and with my eyes starting to puddle up, I ask if they will let John know that I was here. They said they would.

I contact the PO the next day and find that his intentions are still to have John reside at my house. He said because John is so near 18, it would be a waste of time to run him through the system. He further stated that John would like to stay at our house, but would stay the two months (if need be) at Schaffner until 18, rather than go back to his parents. The PO addresses my Army traveling concerns, medical for John, and other logistical concerns. He is very appreciative that I am willing to take care of John until he is 18. A hearing will be held this Monday. I don't think it will be pretty when the PO tells John's parents that John will be residing at my house, and they still will be financially responsible for his needs. I expect the parents may bring their lawyer and try to force a judicial hearing, or sue me.

John called me today. He is only allowed one 5 min. call. During the conversation, I asked what the PO had told him. He said that the PO would recommend that he stay at my house until turning 18 if that was OK? I said, "John, it very OK! I am looking forward to it." A very emotional thank you came from his lips. Tomorrow, Craig and I will visit John during his 50 min visitation period.

Epilogue:
Craig's friends all seem to have a common experience. They all come from broken homes. My first divorce altered my thoughts on life, but having my son taken from me in the stealth of darkness, was a gut wrenching experience. I feel sorry for John's parents, my intent is not to take their son. I have not seen them show much concern for him. It seems their want for him is to keep control of him until 18, when they are no longer responsible for his actions and thus do not risk their business in a lawsuit.
My short experience with John has given me the impression that he is a good kid, with his already crappy world, crumbling around him. I decided to "step up to the plate" and help someone that I know little about.
Will it interfere with my life?....Probably
Will there be adjusting in our household?.....Most definitely
Am I doing the right thing?.....I have no second thoughts about it.....YES!!

This country was founded by people who were willing to step up to the plate when others wouldn't. They are the men and women in the military who are willing to sacrifice their lives to preserve freedom and the American way of life, that many just take for granted. They are the police that do their job with little appreciation. Only when we need them are they good. The rest of the time, we see them as the enemy. They are the firefighters that rush into buildings to save lives, while others are fleeing for theirs. Do to recent happenings in New York, many have stepped up to the plate. Miled Salheb is one of them. He left work and went with his brother to help at ground zero. Peter Mills, who not knowing where I was in the world or how this crisis was effecting my normal duties, offered to look after Craig. These people, like many of you, do these selfless acts not because you are told to; not because it will be fun; not because it will make you look good to others and maybe get your picture taken.... (except for maybe Mil......Nope! Not going there. Miled does things because "they need doing," getting into a picture while he is doing it is just a benny :-))... but because they care about friends and mankind and it needs doing. "It needs doing".....those three words are all it takes to inspire some to "Step up to the plate"

I would like to thank all that have sent me e-mails wishing my safety. It means a lot
THANK YOU!
Larry G.